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The Parking Space

It was a big game day at the stadium, with tens of thousands of attendees. Early comers filled the parking spaces near the entrances, and later fans occupied more distant spots. As game time approached, parking was exceedingly difficult to find.


Two cars circled the parking lot as "The Star-Spangled Banner" began playing. Two average Joes drove American-made silver vehicles, both with their wives in the passenger front seat. The marked difference between them was that one had a pickup truck (Joe Truck), whereas the other had a sport utility vehicle (Joe SUV).


The average Joes found aisle after aisle filled. They even shared the same experiences with a few parking spots that appeared empty from a distance, only to find them occupied by a subcompact pulled entirely into the space when they closed in on the spot.


Worse yet was finding numerous parking spaces with motorcycles. Both average Joes thought there ought to be a law forbidding only one motorcycle in a parking space.


Just when the parking situation seemed bleak, Joe SUV spotted what appeared to be an empty space. He thought, It has to be another motorcycle. There are so many of them at the stadium today.


As he approached the parking space, he stopped and gawked as he realized it was indeed empty. He turned the steering wheel to the left and slowly edged toward the vacant space.


Suddenly, Joe Truck whipped around the last car in the row and also began edging into the same spot. Both cars stopped to avoid a collision, and the drivers jumped out.


Joe SUV said, "That's my space. I was here first."


"You were dillydallying like an old lady, and now I'm parking there."


"You burned rubber, turning the corner like a reckless woman driver."


"You're a worse driver than my wife, who just had an accident," said Joe Truck.


"You're a worse driver than my old lady, who runs stop signs."


"You're a worse driver than my wife, who got another speeding ticket last week. My wife is behind me, isn't she?" asked Joe Truck.


"Yeah, how'd you know?"


"Because your wife is behind you!"


Joe Truck's wife spoke first. "I never had an accident. What you exaggerated was a dented bumper caused by a man who backed up too far while parking. And I never got a speeding ticket; it was a ticket for a brake light that was out—the brake light you were supposed to fix."


Joe SUV's wife also let him have it. "Hey, buster, never ever call me an 'old lady' again. The one stop sign I ran was in a parking lot, and you told me to run it because you had to go big potty and you were too shy to use a public toilet."


Now seriously irate at their husbands for demeaning their driving skills, both wives demanded their husbands get back into their vehicles since they intended to drive home, saying, "Screw the game." Additionally, they made it clear to their husbands that the rest of the year's budgeted monies for sports events would be used for "wife-only purposes."


At this point, you may think that both wives were similar, like their husbands. Any similarity between the ladies ended here. Joe Truck's wife planned to use the money to instantly buy a new custom wardrobe and, tomorrow, purchase expensive jewelry.


On the other hand, Joe SUV's wife intended to purchase very expensive jewelry today and a new wardrobe tomorrow. So, as you can see, both wives were entirely different, unlike their husbands.


As the ladies backed their vehicles up, a motor scooter with a young man driving it pulled into the vacant parking space. He was wearing a helmet, kneepads and elbow pads, and a sweatshirt bearing the words "Computer Geek" on the back.


With their mouths agape, both average Joes came to the same inescapable conclusion: karma is a woman.